Purple Haze!

Dear Reader, I can appreciate your cynicism here. I too was skeptical that my mind could be blown by a mere burger. I am now 26 years old and I have eaten a lot of burgers from a variety of places and felt confident that I knew all there was to know. I mean, it’s not really possible for a burger to be that good. Sure there are varying degrees of quality, Burger King is better than McDonalds, getting a fresh one from the supermarket and cooking it yourself can be quite pleasant.

But a burger is a burger and it’s just not a high quality foodstuff inherently. It’s like trying to make garden peas taste really good.

If there is one thing I have learnt during my short lifetime so far, it’s that I am almost always wrong.

Reader, I beg you, make it your mission to go to Gent (Belgium), go to Martino’s and get the cheese and egg burger.

Epic fries not pictured

You may be looking at this picture and asking, where the hell is the burger?

The burger is lovingly enclosed within the delicious sauce that encompasses the majority of the plate. It vaguely tastes like mayo and tomato ketchup but there is way more to it and you will take great pleasure in dipping your fries in it. In case you didnt know, Belgium is famous for making great fries and this fact makes the meal even better.

Above the burger itself are some fried onions and a gloriously melted cheese, quite mild and complements the rest of the dish beautifully. The fried egg on top is perfectly prepared.

The burger itself is divine, perfectly cooked, not at all dry like you experience far too often in British establishments and tastes like meat, which makes a change.

Accompany this meal with a choice from the wide selection of beers and you have yourself a perfect meal for around 15 euros.

It’s so good, Ruth and I went twice and I just noticed a little bit of drool appear around my lips; I wish I was joking.

It seems like most people have a story to tell about how customer service at TFL is god awful. Conflicting and incorrect advice is a common complaint amongst my friends.

The following is by far the worst customer service I have ever recieved. I came to this man simply asking for help and without provocation he was an utter c*nt to me.

I honestly hope the fucker gets the sack although I realise my complaint will probably fall on deaf ears. I have worked in customer service under rediculous pressure and even as an immature 16 year old managed to maintain an air of politeness. I’m sure there are plenty of people out of the 2.5 million people unemployed right now who wouldn’t be such a useless jobsworth douche.

The complaint

Complaint regarding poor customer service and appalling rudeness from staff member Keith, at Stratford Station ticket office, 9th of May 2010.

I travelled into Stratford by train from Manor Park earlier the same day, and seeing the Central Line was out of service, had asked a staff member if the DLR service was running, who told me that Yes, today the DLR line was running from Stratford.

When I returned to the station to continue my journey,  towards the DLR platform, I saw that it was closed off and there was a notice that the line was being improved.

I touched out within 10minutes (which I believed would mean I was not charged), but I saw that the fare had been taken off my Oyster card.
I asked the TFL workers at the barriers and they told me to go to the ticket office to be refunded.

This is where I encountered Keith, who:

• Did not greet me, I had to greet him.
• Was sarcastic; when I told him I had touched in and touched out and that I had been charged he replied with “Yeah it will do that”
• Did not listen to my concern or complaint

This made me cross and after asking him not to be condescending, he:

• Was unhelpful; did not refund the money for the journey I had not taken after being given misinformation by staff
• Was demeaning, implying I was stupid by saying “the signs all over the station mean nothing to you then” (which was understandably offensive having categorically been told the DLR was running)
• Was rude, and returned my pass with “yeah, whatever” and without a refund, laughing about me with his colleague

I then left the ticket desk, but decided to return to get his name to make a formal complaint.

He looked at me so I explained that I was taking his name and he continued to insult me by asking whether I would like him to spell it for me, as apparently I cannot read.

He then slowly and phonetically pronounced each letter of his name as if I am a moron, followed by a wink before I left the station.

I am furious after this. I was simply a customer asking for some help and was treated like an idiot and without respect.

It astounds me that someone with such poor manners can possibly be a front for the main form of transportation in London.

I expect an apology and a full refund of £1.30

My oyster card number is xxxxxxxxx

Here are the details of the journey I gathered from the TFL website
17:01 Stratford Exit £3.00   £14.70   16:58 Stratford Entry - £4.30   £11.70

I look forward to your prompt reply

After having a 6 month hiatus from the gym and having my knee operation I felt it was finally the right time to try and get rid of some pounds that I have gained.

After an hour or so of working out I had a shower and returned home.

Once I got home I started having an asthma attack, quite a severe one by my standards so I blasted around 6 puffs of Ventolin down my lungs. Soon I noticed that my eyes were starting to water and my nose was becoming blocked, like hay fever.

Ruth suggested I had a shower so I did. When I got out I looked in the mirror and noticed that my bottom lip had swollen up and my face was a crimson red. Not cool. As I went back in to the bedroom I started to feel like shit; heartburn, difficulty in swallowing and I noticed that I had huge disgusting rashes all over my body.

I had to lie down and I took a number of anti-histamines to try and stop the allergic reaction which is very similar to the one I have when I eat fish.

After a while the anaphylactic shock eased a bit and Ruth and I wondered wtf caused this. I noticed that the rashes, whilst being huge and disgusting were localised mainly to where I had actually bothered to use the soap at the gym properly; for instance my lower legs are mainly fine as I didn’t really wash them.

Presumably Fitness First have changed their soap to some evil death soap AIDS concentrate since the last time I visited. Suffice to say I will let them know.

Here are some pictures. Believe me I am not proud of my torso, so for me to expose myself in this unsexy manner reinforces the fact that people should know about this!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrisjames/sets/72157623917642279/

Unfortunately I cannot blame my bloated belly on the soap :p